'A prescription for the good guys'
Imagine a post-alpha society. Mass culture that is not based on identity, neither justified by domination and class. Seems difficult or impossible to imagine? Confirmation bias plays out in everyday life - 'believing is seeing' and not the other way around. As one half of a species, over thousands of years, men have consolidated and maintained power over women, over children, over animals, over wealth and land. In essence that birth-given privilege is called patriarchy. The omnipotent ethos of patriarchy, that manifests as racism, colonialism, capitalism, communism, facism, widespread across mass culture, economics and even reproduction and human rights. Patriarchy naturalises exploitation of women’s bodies, labor, time, children, and so on. A system made of interlocking structures based on class, religion, privilege and brute force. Patriarchy is a form of oppression, built against women, for the benefit of men. Benefits which are countless. Even aspects of language are patriarchal. Well, we know that horrible continuum and so what? As men, we often mistake privileges for natural rights. That universal malaise makes us ignorant, violent and remorseless. Consequently we fail to change, just like our fathers, grand-fathers and all the alpha-heroes of the past. It is not enough for us to be "good guys." It is not enough to personally refrain from exploiting women. It is not sufficient just to identify with feminism and re-align our exterior image. As men, the exigency is to introspect, compelling ourselves to question native practices, biases and behaviour. Dare we call for a prescription to the 'good guys'. Incubate thoughts, values and practices for a non-aligned gender-equal future (and culture).
Imagine a post-alpha society. Mass culture that is not based on identity, neither justified by domination and class. Seems difficult or impossible to imagine? Confirmation bias plays out in everyday life - 'believing is seeing' and not the other way around. As one half of a species, over thousands of years, men have consolidated and maintained power over women, over children, over animals, over wealth and land. In essence that birth-given privilege is called patriarchy. The omnipotent ethos of patriarchy, that manifests as racism, colonialism, capitalism, communism, facism, widespread across mass culture, economics and even reproduction and human rights. Patriarchy naturalises exploitation of women’s bodies, labor, time, children, and so on. A system made of interlocking structures based on class, religion, privilege and brute force. Patriarchy is a form of oppression, built against women, for the benefit of men. Benefits which are countless. Even aspects of language are patriarchal. Well, we know that horrible continuum and so what? As men, we often mistake privileges for natural rights. That universal malaise makes us ignorant, violent and remorseless. Consequently we fail to change, just like our fathers, grand-fathers and all the alpha-heroes of the past. It is not enough for us to be "good guys." It is not enough to personally refrain from exploiting women. It is not sufficient just to identify with feminism and re-align our exterior image. As men, the exigency is to introspect, compelling ourselves to question native practices, biases and behaviour. Dare we call for a prescription to the 'good guys'. Incubate thoughts, values and practices for a non-aligned gender-equal future (and culture).
Challenge patriarchy as a culture, which is essentially made of power and bias. That hideous aspect of civilisation which legitimises itself via brute force, the dominant culture and indoctrination. Decency and morality commands that men work alongside women to question, uproot and dismantle the power of patriarchal systems – first within ourselves, within peer-groups and communities and consequently within institutions. "Question everything" like Hannah Arendt suggested.
Learn to be silent and to listen to women's voices. There are many subtle ways that men devalue women or treat them unfairly, in terms of mere conduct and behaviour. Hear what individual women are saying. Acknowledge and respond appropriately. That fraction of a second between thought and action is where our abusive nature sets in, again and again, like an automaton. Think before you say "bitch" or "mother-fucker" the next time. Consciously refrain from 'gas-lighting' when you speak to women.
At least half-the-times, we must follow the lead of women, and prioritise issues raised by women. In essence, let women set the pertinent agendas. A culture which is severely male dominated is a symptom of an unequal and closed (hopeless) society. To change this condition, men have to effectively question and relinquish their own dominions, privileges, roles and practices - at least half of it to start with.
Empower women with your actions and not just words and populist mantras. Empower those who are most in need, and not 'cherry-pick' those who are the loudest or appear 'suitable'. The idol worship of 'divas' and industry approved role-models does not lead to empowerment of women democratically. A 'twerking Rihana' or a 'heart-broken Adele' or a 'hyper-aggressive Lady Gaga' are but stereotypes of a male dominated, exploitative, profit centric industry. Create space and opportunities for women, which are sustainable and inclusive. Empowerment does not happen overnight! Think about economic independence rather than charity and institutional piety. Throwing money or throwing parties does not empower anyone but an 'exclusive cabal'.
Challenge entitlement! Women do not owe men anything, not a smile, a conversation, a hug or intimacy of any kind. Often men do not care (or worse remain ignorant) about personal boundaries. The false sense of entitlement is present in both men and women, especially those who hold positions of power and privilege. In men, entitlement can cause subconscious gender-loathing. On a macro level, this mindset forms a web of nepotism and mediocrity, which perpetuates gender-inequality in mainstream culture and the entertainment industry.
Question pornography and all forms of prostitution. Heckle your vices! Lifestyles formed around sexuality, that are dictated by patriarchal capitalist structures. Be vocal in challenging the sex-exploitation industry - which exists in every facet of mass culture - music, movies, advertising, social media and even certain women who adhere down to pornographic appeal and statutes perpetuated by the industry and men. Pop music and Instagram are blaring examples of hideous but legal forms of pornographic output.
We must familiarise ourselves with issues that affect women in context of the society we live in and the culture we create. Men have to educate themselves about feminist theory and history. Feminism is not a protocol nor about establishing female dominance. Women's rights are an integral part of human-rights. Yet one must not be influenced by the loudest voices, theories and practices alone. Feminism is not an emblem. Learn to recognise those who exploit feminism, men or women : self-serving individuals who play upon botched agendas, crafted to feed their careers, endowments and dominance. Like patriarchy, the regressive side of feminism is also dedicated to maintaining the ranks, based on privilege and race. Feminism is many things, yet a way of life too, which entails progressive affirmative actions, similar to anti-racism, anti-fascism and environmentalism.
While patriarchy does hurt men in ways, the intended target is women. Hence, as men we may feel hurt by masculinity or masculine culture, yet we are not oppressed by it. Women allover the world do not feel 'safe' around men - as children, as teens, and as adults. A horrid, internalised state-of-fear is an integral part of a woman's existence. International studies estimate that nearly 1/3 of all women have been sexually assaulted or beaten by men. Many women feel the proportion is higher, as much as 1/2 of all woman are violated, at least once during their lifetimes. Hence, it is not any woman’s responsibility to assume that men are safe to be around. Imagine if in reality the situation was the other way around? Think and act with sincerity and empathy to make women feel safe around you and your male friends. Incubate behaviour, language and actions which ensure respect and safety. Women in principle do not need the protection of men.
Popular culture, based on rapid sharing of information and social media has empowered women in ways which were not possible earlier. For millions of women, the collective power, ability and visibility adds up to a greater 'say' globally. A veritable shift in female power and volume. Consequently amplifying the war against violence and misogyny. Online attack upon the accused, the predators, the bad players alone does not create lasting change, nor guarantee actual justice. Temporarily heckling public sentiments and triggering outrage. Yet justice is not based on outrage, vilification or vengeance. As men, if we actually believe in the judicial system and it's capacity to render justice, participating in hysteric populism or online 'witch-burning' merely amounts to a temporal charade. The moralist drama is hypocritical. Powerful misogynists (also industry icons) like Bill Cosby, Harvey Weinstein, R.Kelly, Jeffery Epstein, Tommy Lee, Phil Spector etc have been exposed, convicted and incarcerated, by sustained legal action. The bigger the predator, the longer it takes to bring him down! Our utmost duty should be to help attain legal justice for women who are victims of sexual and domestic violence. Such affirmative actions demand time, community and resources. Legal justice is the strongest weapon globally, to reduce violence against women.
"Gender equality and justice are not beliefs, not mere ideas, nor weapons - they are two key elements of progress, in society and individual consciousness - which decides whether we will march into the future as a humane species or as a destructive legacy of patriarchy." - Doctor Irene Khan. These guidelines above represent a baseline for acceptable behaviour, aimed to create a change in our consciousness, as men. Following these ethics is not exceptional, nor does it merit reward. Conversely, choosing to ignore sexist behaviour and practice, is seen as an act of collaboration, with the spectre of male dominance. A prescription for the 'post-alpha' is as effective as the man who believes in change.
DOWNLOAD / READ Global Gender Gap Report 2020.
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